This topic has me reflecting on my relationship, or lack there of, with Tom. Have I really accepted the fact that we have nothing–other than the kids, of course? That we will not be riding off into the sunset, just the two of us, happily ever after? Am I still in, gasp, DENIAL?!
I mean, I think I am sooooo over it. It’s been over 10 years since we have been in this situationship. He’s stepped out on me, and his wife, and even had the nerve to have another outside child with the chick. That alone was enough to put a lot of things into perspective and open my eyes to his web of deception.
That wasn’t all though. There’s been plenty of deception on his part over the years. After all, 10 years later, and he’s still married?! All of the starting arguments so he could go MIA for days?! All of the it’s not what you think, but pictures don’t lie moments?! All of years of phone calls from women, including his wife?! All of the let me explains?!
I’m a competitive person, and after awhile, even knowing all of this, my competitiveness kicked in. I wanted to WIN. I wanted to be the last woman standing at the end. But, then, I realized that I wasn’t winning shyt. I mean, who really wants a man who will cheat on his wife repeatedly and have several outside children? Where is the prize in that? Do I really want to trade places with her? I said, HELLLLLL NAW!!!
So, yeahhhhhh…I been woke. Ain’t no fairy tale, bih!