Over A Year

 

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve posted. Damn! It’s been one helluva fucking year!

Where do I start? Do I cover the good shyt first? Or do I start off with the bad shyt, then end on a good note? Hummmmm…

Okay, so…the honeymoon phase is over. Diesel ain’t no damn Prince Charming any more! This MF has shown me a lot about himself in the last year that has me currently looking for an apartment when the lease is up. This MF is CRAZY crazy! Like certifiably! He’s an undiagnosed: multiple personality having, bipolar disorder having, paranoia having, suffering from delusions MF!

My oldest child is content with being homeless and a bum, as long as it means continuing to be able to get high, hang out with no good ass friends, and not having to follow any rules. Yep, straight chose these things over a roof over the head. Yep, straight chose these things over a refrigerator full of food. Yep, straight chose THESE THINGS over being gainfully employed. This child has had more wake up calls than a MF this year, but still wears the worn and tattered armor of invincibility on the chest. Wasn’t nothing else I could do, so I hit the return to sender button…God’s gonna finish raising this one now…

I’ve dealt with a lot of death and tragedies this year. Death comes to all: young and old, unexpected and expected; but it has the same effect on a person. I pray that I don’t have to attend another funeral this year; that I do not have to say “I’m sorry for your loss” this year, that no one else has to tell me “I’m so sorry this happened to you” this year…all while I currently have family members who have been diagnosed with COVID-19.

I am currently physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I’ve always understood why and how a person could just up and leave everything they own, know and love…even a mother who walks away from her children. I’ve never judged that person, or that mother; always said there are three sides to every story. Now, I’m not saying that it’s right…I’m just saying that I understand.

On to the good stuff…We did some traveling. The younger kids took their first flight and first cruise (wayyyyy before Corona took over cruise ships). We went to a couple of NFL games this past season. We went to several concerts and comedy shows.

And, I’m still here…faking it until I make it…

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