Why he left me in his house unsupervised is beyond me. He had to know I was going to go snooping…again. And, that’s exactly what I did. Found what I was looking for, too. Oh, she’s most definitely the girlfriend because now she’s got a few clothes in the closet and toiletries under the sink. Even found the receipt for her Christmas gift, the price of which pissed me all the way off. Ohhhhhh ok then…so how should I handle this shyt right here? I’m a pro at pettiness, so what should I do?

Thought about fucking up all that shyt. Nahhhh…too messy, because I like the smell of Clorox. Too expected, that’s typically how women react to these type of situations. Nahhhh, I’m going to go for the subtle approach. And by subtle, I mean shyt that will go unnoticed by a man, but a woman will pick up on immediately.

So, I moved some shyt around. Some of her clothes are now on the other side of the closet. He won’t notice, but SHE will. I threw away some shyt. She doesn’t really need tampons or pads, does she? There’s always tissue. He won’t notice, but SHE will. I put holes in her shower cap. I hope her weave ain’t cheap. He won’t notice, but SHE will. I did a few more things that I dare not mention here, but let’s just say, SHE will notice.

And, she will know that a female did these things. And, she will tell him all about it. And, then he will know that I know

I know that he’s a lying ass dog. I know that he’s a cheat. I know that he’s a selfish son of a bitch. I know…that I am the motherfucking side chick…and I just acted accordingly…

Fuck him…and the bitch…because my pettiness ain’t over…I have more to come…and when I’m done, HE will know…that I’m pretty but I’m loco…ooouuu


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